L.I.F.E

December is here...

2011-12-04T00:05:00.002+08:00

Hey people... it's been such such such a long long long time since i last blogged.
reason being i've been busy being a wife...
(Washer,
Iron,
Food,
Entertainer)

life has it's ups and downs... even until now.

funny thing is, i have been thinking.

before i was married, i would strive to go home as late as i can just for the thrill of it. the satisfaction of being able to go home late when i'm not supposed to is just priceless.
i would be home earliest is 12am. latest so far, i ever reached home is at 4am.

but now... even though i am married, and my curfew has been lifted, the thrill of going back home late is so not that appealing anymore...
i would be home ASAP and the latest time i reached home is 11pm.

why why why???

where did my nightlife go to?

where???

-sadded-

Bells getting louder...

2011-10-15T07:29:00.001+08:00

6 days. Its getting nearer.

Thank God...

2011-09-07T01:01:00.000+08:00

It came quite sudden and the rush was really no joke. Im just glad that things are going the way it was supposed to.

suddenly 12 months has passed

2011-07-19T20:48:00.002+08:00

One year ago, today, at this time, im happily having mini celebration with Abri and jayne for my achievement to pass tthe TP test... that was 12 months ago... today, I will be taking down the P-plate from my dad's car. Sadly, my confidence in driving went down with it... within that 12 months, I rented 3 cars (twice matrix, once suzuki swift) from 2 different companies. Had two accidents (one was a chain accident at PIE, another was with a cab at MacPherson Road). Had several scratches and bumps to the cars. Longest driving journey was from Singapore to JB. Longest driving was from 7am to 4am the next day. I always had fun driving but I am a dangerous driver. A lot of people have told me that.

From N0oB to Geek...

2011-05-10T18:11:00.002+08:00

I just bought a new phone...
Motorola MB502 Charm...
This is my virgin post typed through my phone.
Testing it out...

Gone... with the wind...

2011-02-26T23:58:00.006+08:00

Oh My GoSh... I am so super careless... :-(

thanks to my own carelessness, I am now UN-contactable. AGAIN. Ya. I know. how many times already? sigh... although it's not the original, I will miss my hand-phone very much. all the SMS sent to me, pictures that I've taken, songs I downloaded, video I recorded and all my friend's contact numbers all... gone with the wind.

to the person who has my phone but rejected my calls and refused to answer my calls, thanks a lot. I hope you have fun with the hand-phone and my memory card. IdIoT. I don't care about the phone. I just want my Sim card and Memory card back... you can keep the phone. I dont care. it;s not even original. worst thing is, that memory card is not mine sia... sigh... so sorry sayang... :-( I wish worst things be fell on you. ErGh!

I am so super careless... :-(

I should grow a brain and mouth at the back of my hands so that they could tell me what I left behind... any doctor wants to implant these organs to me?

In loving memory of my MIC iPhone Dec 2009-Feb 2011 and also to my Sim Card 2008-2011.

The SweeTest Thing

2011-01-29T10:11:00.007+08:00

I was watching American Idol on Thursday night with him when Chris Medina came on air.
When I heard him telling his story and saying.

"What kind of guy would I be if I walked out on her when she needed me the most?"

I almost cried. Then I turn to him.

Me: That is so sweet! Like how many guys would actually do that?

He gave me the face.
I was like Oops...!
After his minute of fame was over, it dawned on me that he will be like that. If anything were to happen to me, he will not leave and will take care of me. So I turn to him.

Me: If I am ever in a situation where I cannot take care of myself, can you please leave me and find another girl who can take care of you and make you happy and have children?

Him: No.

Me: Why not? You deserve to be happy. Nobody said that you should stay with me forever.

Him: But I want to.

Me: But why? Please?

Him: No.

Now I feel bad. I mean it's sweet for guys to stay by and took care of their love. But I will feel very sad if I'm in that situation, unable to take care of myself and troubling my caretakers. I will cry daily even though he is by my side.

I'm sorry, Dear. But this is not your choice and this is not a request. It's an order. If one day I suddenly became uncontactable, please move on. Dont even bother of finding me or my friends. Coz when that happens, it means that either I'm a living vegetable or half dead. And you should move on and have a happy married life with lots of children.

OH My GOD

2011-01-23T08:55:00.005+08:00

LoL. It happened! Like I was ostracised for the past 5 months (or more), and then now I was singled out and asked "What is my problem?" or more like "Sit. (woof! *pant pant*) I demand to know what is your problem. (ooohh...scared...)"

When that question was thrown at me, I was actually silent for a few seconds (or maybe a full minute) because MY FIRST THOUGHTS was "My problem? Which one?"

Do I tell about

1) Last year when you forced me to take car license with my own god-damn money but in the end when I finally cleared it you did not allow me to use the car (more like only use it with people are inside, and with all the complains). Shit, I could have gotten my bike license sia instead of the car which I seldom get to use. Even when I want to rent, someone called the rental company and ask the boss to come up with some "new drivers not allowed" crap (but a person with no license can) so that I do not get to rent the car (albeit with my own moolars).

Or do I tell about

2) From when I was 21 (until now) and still my passport is being locked and I am prohibited to go out to venture the world (reason being I do not have any savings, it's a waste of time, it's a waste of money). Shit, if permission and freedom to travel was given, I would have saved my money because I know that I can look forward to go out on an adventure in the future sia instead of saving and being stuck here in Singapore. Damnit, I cannot even go across the border lah sia. Oh wait. that is not politically correct. If a quidnunc were to call and report this post it would be inaccurate. I can go over the border to Malaysia (only) but with MUCH RESISTANCE. Very much.

Or do I tell about

3)When I was 18 (until now, like how old am I) and still I have not been given that full freedom of going for chalets, campings, overnights, clubbing (haha. FAT HOPE), with my friends even though it is only in Singapore (reason being it's a waste of time). Shit, it's always a waste of time, isn't it? Like as though humans always make full use of their time. Oh. By the way, it's called RELAXING and having FUN. But of course, I cannot but those two with a gun sticking out front down south can (sometimes I wish I could go for a sex change just to add something sticking down south so I could have more freedom). Fair. VERY FAIR. "I'm always fair with my heir" Right...

Wait. Or do I tell about

4) When I was 16 and not given the freedom to go out with my friends to movies, walk around town, explore Singapore. Shit, whoever gives curfews at 7 p.m. anymore at age 16? Reasonable. Very reasonable. "I'm always reasonable. I do things with reasons" Right... more like Selfish reasons. But then I am smarter. I extended my own time and now I just need to be home. I don't care about the scoldings and naggings of coming home late the moment I was locked out of the house that one day.

Oh ya. Or do I tell about

5) From I was 10 (until now) how whenever something goes wrong I was always blamed for all the things I never did and always being critised and looked down on. I was called lazy, ugly, fatty, blacky, what else was there? I don't know. Half of the things I don't remember anymore. Ya. SURE. I don't know how to do half of the housework. Like as if I'm THE ONLY ONE in the world who does not know how to do ANY housework. Anyway when I was little I'm always being chased out of the kitchen whenever I want to help.

Which one would you rather me tell?

I wanted to tell all this but then I was thinking "What is the bloody point?"
Is that question from the bottom of a caring and concerned heart who really wants to know OR Is that question asked because somebody reported their findings of my blog and it felt as though ego is ripped away?

Is anything ever going to change? NAH...
Am I going to get permission to go overseas to places I've always wanted to go to? NAH...
Am I miraculously going to get to stay overnight with my friends at chalets? NAH...
So what is the bloody point in asking?

I'm 27, and I am still caged and not given any freedom. Like who ever can stand living in a life like this? No freedom, No love, No happiness. I'm 27 but being treated like 17. Or wait. 17 year olds get freedom nowadays. Maybe 7. I'm 27 yet being treated like 7. Living at home is just giving me the jitters. Everything I do is wrong. Everything I do is being Surviellanced. MY Wallet. MY Bag. MY Passport. MY BankBook. Even MY HANDPHONE. It's worst them living in a gaol.

So, to the person who reported my blog post, CONGRATULATIONS! You have just made my life worst than it already is. Don't you know that "Silence is Golden?" Yup, agree, ^^ said that I should say it out instead of keeping all pent up inside. BUT do you know what happens when I say it out? Listening is not their forte. They are too egoistic to actually put their guard down and give in a little. BUT it does not matter. This family is not mine. I could have just walked away but I didn't because I think of their honour and pride. Furthermore, Tongues will Wag. Especially Tongues like YourS.

Rantings

2011-01-13T06:49:00.002+08:00

Sial. Babi. Aku ini tidak ada perasaan ke apa? Binatang pun ada perasan. Sial ah.
Fikir dulu sebelum cakap ah. Walau siapa pun kau, kau tak layak cakap gitu sial.
Pada pandangan kau, aku ini lebih rendah dari binatang ke? Sakit sial hati dengar kau cakap gitu.
Kau cakap gitu macam aku aje seorang dalam rumah ini yang jahat sekali.
Aku ni kambing hitam dalam rumah ini ke apa?
Sejahat mana kau ingat aku ini, aku tidak pernah masuk penjara, aku tak pernah tercicir dalam pelajaran.
Sejahat mana kau fikir aku ini, masa depan aku terjaga dan terjamin.
Aku tidak akan merempat di jalanan dan aku tidak akan menyusahkan sesiapa.
Iye, memang aku selalu balik malam tetapi itu tidak bermaksud yang aku selalu berfoya-foya buat maksiat, sial.
Kau tidak pernah nak tanya ke mana aku pergi dan bagaimana keadaan aku.
Kau buat aku ini macam orang asing dalam rumah dan berbual bila ada yang perlu sahaja.
Abih, tahu-tahu je kau cakap gitu. Aku jarang sial keluar dengan kawan aku malam-malam.
Dia orang pun kerja jugak. Kau fikir kawan aku semua budak kutu embun? Budak melepak bawah block?
Sorry ah. Budak macam gitu semua aku tidak pandang ah.
Selama ini kau yang menghalang aku untuk bernikah.
Kalau kau fikir yang aku selalu keluar malam buat maksiat, nikahkan aku ah. Kan lagi senang?
Kau tidak payah tanggung dosa aku. Kalau kau tak nak, jangan nak tuduh aku sembarangan lah sial.
Tiap-tiap bulan kau mintak separuh gaji aku untuk 'pegang'. Kepala hotak pegang.
Kau buat apa dengan duit itu pun aku tak tahu. Bukannya kau bilang aku.
Kau dah ambil separuh gaji aku, abih yang lain untuk aku pakai. Gaji aku ini $10 ribu satu bulan?
Makan, duit tambang je dah tak cukup sial. Aku balik malam aku kerjalah bodoh.
GAji gitu mana cukup? Tak cukup kalau mintak kau pun kau bukannya nak bagi.
Kau dengan laki kau pun sama sahaja. Pelokek nak mampus. Aku ini anak angkat korang ke apa?
Dari dulu aku aje yang salah. Aku, aku, aku.
Kalau betul aku ni anak angkat, cakap. Aku boleh pergi dari sini dan cari tempat tinggal sendiri.
Tak menyusahkan kau atau sesiapa. Tapi tak mengapa. Aku tak kisah.
Kau nak cakap apa, kau cakap lah. Kau nak tuduh aku ni pelacur ke, apa ke, aku tak kisah,
Sebab yang buat tuduhan melulu bukan aku. Kau yang buat fitnah, yang berdosa pun bukan aku.

anticipation of something

2011-01-01T15:39:00.005+08:00

first of all, i know the last time i signed in was in july 2010. well, lets see what has happened since then in 2010.

19 july: I got my driving license (second try) :D

30 july: Went "Voyage De La Vie..." with my cousin sister and boyfie...

08 August: My last NDP participation for now. might continue again if i have the chance to. 5 years is enough for me. taking a break for a while. :) my face was on TV!!!!

14 August: Went to the inaugural Youth Olympic Opening Ceremony with my two NDP buddies...

25 September: Raya outing with madrasah friends.. I drove!!! :) his parents came over and thats where the happiness ends...
from then on, my parents are not talking to me, things are tense and somehow I am stuck in the middle

03 October: Rebonded my hair at JB. First trial. Well, I must say I look kinda nice with rebonded hair... :P

12 October: I was fired from Kumon. Well, it's more like I was AWOL-ing more than a few times and in the end my boss released me from my duties as he could not plan myh schedule. lol. so I'm finally FREE!!!

19 October: Started a new job at "I Can Read". Definitely better than Kumon. :)

31 October: Went to the CSI Experience at Jurong East, Science Centre with hima dn his brother. had loads of fun. :P

14 November: Had an impromptu birthday bash for Fazah. It was, very touching.

then, everything starts to spiral downwards.

13 December: I got into an accident. My car kissed a car infront just because I could not brake on time. Well, it wasnt exactly my fault. The car's brake pads are actually very lousy. So, not my fault entirely but it was a mistake that costs me $6k.

28 December: Met up with the madrasah girls. it was a golden day where i was very happy the whole day.

31 December: Went to JB, Taman Tampoi Indah. had barbecue and went home around 1030. Alone. Celebrated Countdown at home. Alone.

So yeap. That was a brief summary of my days from July 2010 to 31 December 2010.

I only manage to fulfill one resolution this year and that is to get a driving license.

So here we are today in the new year of 2011, making new year's resolution and going through the months all over again. birthdays, engagements, marriages, all lines up waiting for my arrival. hoho.

This year is going to be an interesting year because the problems I faced in 2010 was brought forward to 2011.

Time flies...

2010-07-04T02:14:00.003+08:00

Woah. three months has passed since I last updated. Where had the days gone to? Oh dear. this is not good... I am so not keeping to my promise that I would update frequently... Oh well. Got to go... I will be updating soon enough...

2+6=...?

2010-03-24T06:37:00.002+08:00

:) the month of March has been much an evil month to me.
there is much to face.
there is much to worry about and much to settle.

:( several talks are attended.
talks for my degree plans,
talks for my work upgrading,
taking the FTT and studying for it,
and some other problems that are much too shitty to talk about.

:) the month of March is coming to an end
and this month of april is much to anitcipate about.
not only am i going to be a year wiser,
i am also going to be a year younger.

Back to the Old School...

2010-02-05T22:40:00.002+08:00

I have been going through my itinerary from my treasure chest.
Surprisingly, some of the stuff still left a huge imprint in my memories and my emotions.
And, some of it kept me thinking.

Doesn't these people actually think of what impact their actions have on our emotions and self esteem?
Don't they realise that their actions created a huge impact in others?
Are they that dumb that they do not see the bigger picture to the whole thing?

Promises are made, hopes are grown, and suddenly...
Poof! Gone! Just like that. with five words.
"I think we are not compatible..."

And it's over.

All the things that were said and done and been through together meant nothing.
After meeting with the family and having to put up with the differences for so long, nothing matters anymore.
The irritating thing is, during that courtship, some friends were forgotten and left behind.
All the time and effort were channeled to the supposed one.
And when things do not go "Happily ever after", you were suddenly thrown down from cloud nine to the hard ground soil.
It sure is not easy to stand after a hard fall like that especially when dependency is very high.

Moral of my gibberish:

Never ditch your friends for that supposed "The One" when nothing is ever certain in the first place.
Like come on...
Even people who are happily married can be divorced.
What more in the courtship stage?
When your friends have gotten used to the idea that you will never be available to spend time with friends, they will just leave you alone.
It does not make a difference whether you are there or not.
Your friends do not leave you; you stayed away from your friends to spend more time with lover boy.

Go figure.

A brand new year...

2010-01-09T12:25:00.002+08:00

Wow. When was the last time I actually blogged? This is so bad... I should learn to update my blog more. The thing is, I have so many things to say in so little time and space. Where shall I start?
First things first, today marks the 49th month me and lover boy are together. Long, huh. I know. Well, time flies when you are having fun, doesn't it? Yup. Seems like it.
Work has been great and things are just the way it should be. I think. Well, still early to tell.
got to go.
Note to self: must blog more often.
Toodles!!

stagnant

2009-11-29T10:46:00.000+08:00

bleah. 'nuff said. things just drains me out. arsehole. oh well.

Chronicles of Syawal 2009

2009-10-15T07:04:00.021+08:00

Wow.
Even though I have graduated from my diploma course,
I still have no time to update my blog regularly.
Oh dear.
So not good.
Anyway, Raya 09 just came and gone.
Well, there is still a week left but it has ended for me.
Seldom did I go out on the last week of raya.
Here is the rundown of the month.

Day 1...

me...

and my family...
Went to the elder's place...

Day 2...

me...

and my family again...
Went to 2 places then we went home because there are visitors coming to our house.

Day 3...

me...

and these lost traders...
Well, it was not really a raya per se,
went to one house then we ended up going out and hanging out.
They are busy selling stuff, you see...

Day 4...

me... and my family...
Well, my camera died on me halfway,
so we did not have the opportunity to take more pictures...
Went to Mother's (My aunt) open house that day...
Adn two more relatives' house...

Day 5...

Just us...
Went to visit his grandparents...

Day 6...

us...

and these noisy bunch of people...
hectic, I tell you...
but it was fun, nonetheless. :)

Day 7...

me...

and these beautiful ladies...
Started out late,
but we ended just as we planned...
Or around there. :D

Day 8...

me...

and these whacked-out people...
again, there was a glitch in the start...
but we ended off just fine...

And that's all for these year's raya...
Note that the days are not consecutive.
It is spread over three weeks.
Not many opportunities to go out because of work and all that.
Still have lots more to go and people to visit.
Oh well.
There is always next year...
Insya'Allah....

In the Midst of Things

2009-09-05T07:02:00.005+08:00

I realised that my blog entry for the month of August was very slip-shot.
Haha.
Well, that's because I am very busy.
What with school work, with my attachment and new job and what nots, I am surprised I actually survived the ordeal.

Let me have a proper summary of all the things which has happened in my life.

1) NDP is done, It was a great time with these people.
I made new friends and caught up with the old ones.

2) I have officially graduated from my Diploma in Teaching Course. Haha.
I am a full fledged teacher now.
Not an unrecognised one anymore.
I am still thinking of whether to continue with my DPL or my Degree or
should I take a break first?

3) The new workplace was cool, just that I still need to get use to some things.

Now is already September and Ramadhan is here.
Meaning more Meetups, more dates with friends and more Fun!
Haha.
So looking forward to all that.
Yeay!

On a side note, would you just look at this baby?

Isn't she a beauty?

If only she is mine...

Oh. Ya. Thank you for all the presents

and Happy Teacher's Day to all Teachers...

Erm... I think that's all for now.
Shall update again soon.
Maybe after the auditor comes.

Ridiculous Invention?

2009-08-29T08:23:00.002+08:00

While on the way to Kumon yesterday,
a sudden inspiration just came to mind.

Here is how it started.

Have you ever over-slept on the bus on the way to work or going back home?
Well, it happened to me.
A LOT of times.
Countless.
The worst was that I accidentaly slept,
and I was awaken by the sudden knock at the window.
When I open my eyes he was standing and knocking at the window.
Yes.
From the outside.
Still groggy,
I looked around.
The place was alien to me.
When i asked the driver,
he said we are at Kranji Depot.
From being groggy and sleepy,
I was suddenly wide awake.
The bus was supposed to stop at the interchange near my house.
I actually slept all the way until the bus docks at the depot.

It's not only me.
Someone slept and wakes up at Bedok.
The person was supposed to go Jurong.
Let's just face it,
the human brain will go into auto hibernation mode when they are bored.

Like What the hell?

Now I am afraid to sleep.
When I am sleepy,
I will stand all throughout the journey.
Be it in the bus or in the train.
Even when there is a seat waiting for my to land my butt on and rest my legs.
Except when I am with somebody.

So yesterday I saw this lady sleeping.
Somewhere near AES,
the lady woke up,
looked around,
and got off the bus in a haste.
It is so obvious that she missed her stop.
Having been in her situation countless times,
I felt pity for her.
I was just wondering if people actually know when I am supposed to alight,
would anyone wake me up when my stop is near?
Maybe not,
knowing how selfish humans can be.

What I am going to say next might sound ridiculous to most people,
but to all those inspiring electrical students,
here's a project you could work on.

1) Build a "Drop-off point notification screen"
Nowadays everywhere is computerised.
Before we sit,
if we think that we are going to doze off,
we activate the notification screen,
and type in the place we would be alighting.

2) Fix a device on the chair.
When the stop is near,
The chair will vibrate,
Waking us up.
Or the person sitting beside us would feel the vibration and wake us up.

Then people will not miss their stop,
would they?
And it solves all problems of fatigue,
as people can be assured of a safe and comfortable journey.
When this materialise in the future,
please do not forget to patent it under my name.
:)

Living Among the Jurassic

2009-08-28T22:35:00.002+08:00

I am not sure if it is just me,
or it's just that they have reproduced a million times.
Maybe it is just in the season for them to wander around.
In these few weeks,
i bumped into lots of roaches and they are everywhere.
Literally.
On the walls,
up on the ceiling,
in the drains.
Yuck.
Apart from that,
I have been donating blood too.
To Mozzies.
As in the words of Animal Crossing,
"Give my Blood back, I gave at work!"
Ergh!
This is so irritating!
Leave me alone!

WheW!

2009-08-15T01:42:00.003+08:00

Finally,
after 12 months of slogging and chasing deadlines,
it's finally over!
Woohoo!
Though I have yet to collect my cert,
I can say that I am through with it!
Yes Ah!

Now it's time for me to catch up on my beauty sleep,
catch up on my housework,
and catch up on reading.

I have not been doing,
or enjoying
any reading for the past year.
The only thing I read was my notes and that,
too, most of it I shall frankly say is not enjoyable.

Now...
Let me rest.
I so deserve it after all the stress I have been going through.
:-D

Before I go, I would like to say
a very big Thank You
to everyone and anyone who has helped me in any way.
I borrowed laptop,
borrowed notes,
borrowed ideas.
You name it.
Haha.
Thank you people.
I would not have done it without all of you.

I also would not have done it without you.
Thank you for staying with me and dealing with all my tantrums.
:P

Double Celebration

2009-08-07T17:25:00.003+08:00

This Sunday,
9th August,
is Singapore's 44th birthday.
I can't wait for the parade and the celebration.
It will be my 5th year participating in
National Day Parade for Singapore.

The unique thing is that,
on the same day,
it is also the 44th month
of being together with him.

How cool is that?

Haha.
Long, huh?
3 years 8 months.
Many many more to come...

2009-08-02T02:30:00.005+08:00

Well, I tried to resist but I lost.
I just can't resist the sleek design.
Meet My new Baby.

Meet Lenovo Ideapad Y450.
Enough said.
Back to assigments now.

Emotional Release

2009-07-02T22:53:00.005+08:00

Well,
after 1 month of not having a proper date and
after 6 months of not watching a movie,
I cut class and
he skipped work
just so that we could spend the day together.

Haha.

We decided to watch

Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaur in 3D.

What can I say?
When two crazy people meet,
things will always be crazy.

Missing you already.
So, when can we meet for a proper date again?

All about me

2009-06-25T09:14:00.002+08:00

I did this Personality test on QuizBox.
Apparently, I shall say that its true.
What you read here is the kind of person I am.

This are the results:

1. Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

2. The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

3. Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

4. The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

5. Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

6. The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

7. How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

8. What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

9. Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

One thing for sure: I will still be young at heart forever. :D

Being with you...

2009-06-09T12:59:00.002+08:00

It seems that only yesterday that I met you.
Time flies.

Without realising, suddenly it has been
3 years and 6 months.

This has officially been the longest relationship that I have ever been in,
considering the rest have only made it thus far.

Sometimes you can be the most irritating person in my whole life,
at other times,
you are the only one I can turn to.

You made me Love you,
Need you,
Hate you.

You bring out the best in me,
the child in me,
and the worst anyone has ever seen in me.

You made me feel special,
at times unwanted,
and also the loneliest person in the world.

From the start we have been in a bumpy rocky path together,
yet you stayed stubborn and strong with me.
We made it through all odds and problems with our heads stuck high
and never once did you let me drown.

Of all the sucky relationships that I have ever been in,
you made me believe in love.
You never once stop loving me,
even when I threaten to leave you.
You never did once gave up on me,
even when I doubt you several times.

For what it's worth,
Thank you.
You are the best that has ever happened in my life for a long time.

Time Line

2009-06-01T01:02:00.002+08:00

Now, where did May fly off to?
Like Damn, today is already the 1st of June!
Oh dear.
It seems so fast and so soon!
Haiz.
I guess I was too busy to update.
Too stressed to think of what to blog.
Too busy to even meet my girls.
Argh!
Can't wait for all these to be over!
I'm left with the last leg of the race but I am having a bad stitch in my tummy.
Ever had that feeling?
That's what I am feeling now.
The finishing point is so near yet so bloody freaking far.
I need to breathe.
I need to freaking pace my steps.
BUT
If I take baby steps, I will be overtaken.
Like damn.
When am I gonna reach the finishing point?

On the precipice of war

2009-04-30T07:49:00.004+08:00

In the recent times,
I realise that I am being too nice to some people.
Like really too nice.
Initially,
when I am still young and naive,
I do not mind.
Seriously.
They ask me for help,
they ask me to do things,
and
they ask me to cover their ass.
I do not mind helping.
Yes,
I do enjoy helping people.
It helps to cleanse the sins that I have collected over the years.
Then it came to a point where they became totally dependent on me.
Like every eensy weensy little thing:
It's ok,
I know you can help me!
Wee!
Hooray for the hero!
Recently it catch on me that I am just not being appreciated.
When they need me,
they find me.
If not,
I am being set aside.
Forgotten like an old doll.
It sucks to know that you are just not appreciated.
The worst thing,
when I am in trouble,
the same people who are dependent on me will come up with
1,000,001 reasons
saying they cannot help me.
Like thanks...

What would you do if you realise that people are taking advantage of you?
What would you do if you realise that people are too dependent on you?
What would you do if you realise that people are not appreciative of you?

I should stop being so nice.
I cant help it.
It has become a habit to help people.

Oh well,
another month gone.
I only remembered that I had fun on my birthday weekend.
The rest of the month is a daze.

May coming right up.
So not looking forward to it.
Assignment deadlines and class presentation are so back to back.
Shit.
I need to breathe.

I need to stop being so nice
so that people will stop being too dependent on me
and at least appreciate everything
I have done all these while.

Bdae Bash

2009-04-13T13:53:00.018+08:00

This weekend was great!
Not only was it a long weekend,
it was filled with lots of super fun!
Haha!

The fun starts from
Thursday, 9th April

40th month celebration.

Then comes Friday.

Celebrate my 25th birthday with

Early in the morning.
Like I was having super problem waking up on a public holiday morning.
Then again, someone managed to pull me out of bed.
Then the chase started.
It was from IMM to West Coast Park where we were stuck in the rain.

In the evening, I had to rush to

for

Alumni Dinner.
Lo and behold, these people

Decide to sabo me!
Thanks guys...

Saturday was meeting with

My all time favourite school mates.

This is another amazing race.
Worst then Friday.
We met at Bugis for lunch,
went to Harbour Front to get out of the rain,
went to Funan to redeem some stuff,
lastly was to hang out at Starbucks Raffles City.

Guess who decided to drop by?

Sorry babe.
I could not accompany you to Arab Street.

Sunday, the NDP kids decided to have a birthday surprise for me.

Aww...
I so do not expect anything from them but they did an impromptu celebration.
Too bad I did not bring my camera along to take pictures with them...

Thank you everyone for the well wishes and all the birthday surprises over the weekend.
I enjoyed every single minute of it although my energy was stretched to the limit.

Quarter Life Crisis

2009-04-10T02:35:00.001+08:00

Oh my goodness!
Would you just look at the time!
I am officially a quarter-of-century old coming 3 hours now.
Well, how do I feel?
I dunno.
The usual, I guess.

Out of the blue, after the stroke of midnight, I decided that maybe I should do something different today.
Since it is, afterall, my birthday.
So I decided to log into my MSN.
Something that I seldom do.
Lo and behold, instead of pleasant birthday wishes, I was bombarded by some offline messages.

"Sal, YOUR COMPUTER HAS VIRUS!"
"WOIT! YOUR COMPUTER HAS VIRUS LAH!"
"YOUR COMPUTER HAS VIRUS!"
Ya, like thanks.
I know you are worried that it might be transferred into your computer.
But then again, HELLO...
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO THIS YOU KNOW...
complete with the exclamation marks.

The last time I entered MSN was like I dunno when and then this had to happen.
I suspect it was the work of one of my siblings who just love to download what-nots from the internet.
Thus, for the past hours after the clock strike 12, I have been cleaning up my computer system.
You don't have to worry now guys because my computer is cleaned and protected.
Thanks anyway for warning me.
Come to think of it, after today I may not have the time to log into MSN anymore.

What a way to start my birthday.

I am faced with quarter life crisis.
A week prior to my birthday, I lost some things, misplaced some, forgotten others.
I tire easily, am cranky, bored and restless, sleepy and been feeling ill.
What a way to remind myself that I am getting old.

Oh well, LIFE really have its own way to suck the living spirit out of you.
Don't you think?
My long weekend is filled with activities.
Well, there's good and bad points to that.
Let's see how this long weekend goes.
Maybe I will enjoy it, maybe I won't.

Busy Weekend

2009-04-06T12:40:00.004+08:00

Saturday we went to Wedding ceremony of

It was a grand wedding.

But our meeting with the newly weds

are quite brief, though.

On Sunday, we went to

It sure was fun trekking in the rain.

Retribution

2009-04-03T12:24:00.006+08:00

After 5 years,
I did something stupid.
While in a lost yesterday,
This song came to mind.

While looking around in Facebook, I came across this.

Oh well, at least it puts a smile on my face.
Sighs...
I lost my handphone.
The last time that happens was 5 years ago.
How irritating is that?
The one thing that I cannot live without, I actually lost it.
Like Shit!
So yeah.
I'm in a lost now.
No handphone.
No form of contact.
No life.
Feeeling so empty.
Damn.
Not a good day for me.
Haiz...
One more week to my Big Day and this just had to happen.

I'm sorry for everything that happened between us yesterday.
I know it's my fault.
Maybe this is My Retribution.

Time Flies

2009-04-01T13:34:00.006+08:00

Nowadays, it is scary to realize how time just seem to fly past you without realizing it.
March has come and now it's gone.
Like Where Did March Go?
Or is it that I am too tied up with stuff that
I actually forgot to stop and smell the roses?
Oh well.

Anyhoot, April is here and that means that
My Big Day Is Coming! Haha!
Well, I am kinda having mixed emotions about it.
On one hand, it's exciting.
On the other, the thought that I will be quarter of a century old so do not make me feel happy.

Initially, I wanted to bring all my friends here.

After putting some thoughts and the into it, I decided against it.
Some people would probably think of it as a hassle.
So maybe some other time.

Therefore, when my friends asked me what I want for my birthday,
I told them a simple, straight forward answer.

A picnic at West Coast Park.
No need for presents.
Having a Birthday on a Public Holiday is a Gift in itself.
And since it's a Public Holiday, I'm sure it can be done.
This will probably take up the whole morning and early afternoon.

I'm free for the late afternoon for anyone who wants to spend time with me.

Then after, I have to go here.

Venue : Orchard Ballroom 3 (Level 3)
Time : 7.30pm
This will probbly and around 9.30 or 10.

So yeah.
My Big Day is planned and filled with activities.
How cool is that?

One Saturday

2009-03-29T21:25:00.004+08:00

On a cloudy yet hot Saturday afternoon,
with practically nowhere to go and no plans,
this is what I,
or rather we,
did.

After venturing

The continuous pics was kinda blur because I could not stop myself from laughing.
It was the best day I've had in weeks.
Thank you for being patient with me especially with my raging hormones.
Time of the month.
And stress from school, work and family so do not help the situation at all.
Just thanks.

Belated Birthday wish

2009-03-27T13:59:00.001+08:00

This goes out to Arifah.
So super duper sorry
babe
for the super duper late entry.
Nonetheless, i hope you enjoyed the day.
enjoy being 22 babe!
Next up is MINE!
:D

Like Finally!

2009-03-15T11:51:00.005+08:00

Liverpool stun United 4-1 to revive title race

Liverpool beat Manchester United 4-1

* United defender Vidic sent off

Liverpool grabs 1st win at Man United in 5 years

MANCHESTER, England (AP)—Liverpool routed Premier League leader Manchester United 4-1 on Saturday, coming from behind to revive its faltering title chase with its biggest win at Old Trafford in 73 years.

Captain Steven Gerrard gave Liverpool the lead for good just before halftime after Fernando Torres tied the score following Cristiano Ronaldo’s penalty kick for United.

“It was magnificent, a great team performance,” Gerrard said.

The Reds’ first win at United in five years—and manager Rafa Benitez’s first—was put beyond doubt in the last 15 minutes, with goals by Fabio Aurelio and Andrea Dossena as the defending champions were humiliated by their fiercest rival.

This was United’s worst home defeat since a loss by the same score in 1992 against Queens Park Rangers. The club’s miserable afternoon was compounded when defender Nemanja Vidic was ejected for the second time this season against Liverpool.

Haha. Still hope it would not be so rare though. Go Liverpool!

And then its march

2009-03-01T12:49:00.002+08:00

Just want to wish a happy 22 birthday to Fana.
February has whooshed on by.
Too many events and incidents that I hardly had time to breathe.
And suddenly its march.
oh dear.
how time flies.
NDP 09 starts as of this week.

Trackback

2009-02-27T07:44:00.003+08:00

This should come before the rainbow incident but I have been very busy.
It totally slipped my mind.
This happens on 21st Feb.

I never knew SMRT have such thing as an open house for the new stations.
Haha.
By now the place would be open and in use by the public.
But I was the first few there.
Hah.

Colours in the sky

2009-02-26T14:01:00.007+08:00

After a few days of hot sunnny weather, the cloud decide to rain today.
Guess what I saw on the way to tuition yesterday?
A rainbow!
It is sad that I did not have my camera with me.
It sure would be a picture to capture.
The best part is, it is not a single rainbow!
I saw double.

When the first one started to fade, then I saw the other oen which is more brighter than the first.
It was the most beautiful thing I have seen.
So far, in my years spent on Mother Earth, this is the secone time I manage to catch a rainbow.
The first time was when i was in primary 4 or 5 on the way back to class.
Today the rain is falling an the sun is shining again.
Maybe i will be lucky to catch another rainbow again.

How I wished you were with me when it happened.

Outdated Updates

2009-02-18T12:12:00.007+08:00

This week is CRAZY!!! Lets see now.

13 FebruarY
0900: Work
1330: Attachment (Last Day)
1545: Hand in Assignment (Tanjong Pagar)
1700: Esplanade (Passing time and catching my breath)
2030: Waiting for friends, making my way to Airport
2145: Reached Changi Airport MRT
2200: Popeyes at Terminal 3
2245: Got a little lost (Hide and Seek)
2300: Farewells and goodbyes
2345: Kopitiam Terminal 3

14 FebruarY
0030: Exploration begins (Wakakaka...)
0145: Budget Terminal
0220: In the middle of PIE (Dont ask)
0250: Tampines Central (Finally! Civilisation!)
0300: McCafe at Tampines CEntral
0345: Headed Home
(Drop my friend to Clementi before going home)
0420: Home Sweet home
0520: Trying to sleep
(Due to the adrenaline rush, can't doze off)
0700: Finally slept
1000: Rise and shine
1100: Out of the house already. Again. Went lunch.
1330: On the way to Kallang (PA Briefing)
1730: Buffet (Courtesy of PA)
1830: Event Ended
2000: Chill out near my house
2330: Made my way home

So, yeah.
That is how i spent my Pre-Valentine and on Valentine Day itself.
It was an adventurous day, full of surprises, revelation and things I never knew would happen.
Even today, my body is screaming: TIRED!!!
Haha. My old routine has started.
Back to Work, School, Work again.
Time is ticking.
Need to buck up and finish up assignment.
New assignments are coming in already.
Damn.

FriDay the 13th

2009-02-12T23:01:00.002+08:00

I know it is not time yet.
I am just doing this while the inspiration is still fresh in my mind.
I am happy.
My Practicum is OVER!
Wakaka.
I only need to do the paper work and all that last minute editing thing.

Tomorrow will be a crazy 18 hours.

Morn: Work (Usual Routine)
Afternoon: Collect something from my Practicum Centre (Bleah)
Late Afternoon: Hand in Group and Individual Assignments (The ones where I have been losing sleep over)
Evening: Changi Airport send my friend off to Aussie (Sob)
Late Night: Explore Dead Singapore

These are the times when i wish there just can be a way for me to split myself up so that I do not need to rush here there and everywhere.

Time to Celebrate

2009-02-10T21:56:00.003+08:00

February.

A month full of surprises and celebration.

1) My Beloved Birthday
2) 38th month together
3) The ending of Practicum
4) Valentine's Day
5) A Happy news that will impact my life

In all that celebration, there are a few sad incidences.

1) My beloved Gf's departure abroad to overseas
2) Quarrels and Squabbles here and there
3) The Overwhelming Workload

There are still some uncertainties.

1) The proposal
2) The result of Practicum

But still, it is a happy month.
I am happy.

Happy, Happy, Happy.

Hopefully this is ever lasting.
Finally.
I am prepared to move on to the next phase now.

To my Beloved,

2009-02-03T07:58:00.004+08:00

I just want to wish you a
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY
Birthday.
A year wiser, a year younger.
Haha.
May you have a happy year ahead
and
May all your dreams and wishes came through.
Loving and Hating You, Always

Stop and Smell the Roses

2009-01-28T22:30:00.003+08:00

I just had a 3 days 2 nights get away from tiny island of Singapore to the huge island of Indonesia.
It was, I shall say, an eye opener for me.
It definitely not my first time being there, but its my first experience living in an island without any form of communication or connection to the world around.
Living on a water village.
If that is what it was called.
It truely is An eye-opening Experience.
It is when you have this experience, then will you realise how protected we, Singaporeans are.
The story that they tell you of the time when a boy drown and met at the end of the village, blue and bloated.
The story where they cant move frm where they are because the water level is too high and the waves were too strong they had to stay stranded on the island.
The story when they have to live with a broken jetty.
The story when the water flood their homes.
Even when I arrive, the jetty broke.
We had to drop at some house near the middle of the ocean and walk in.
All these stories I have to say will never be experienced in tiny island of Singapore.
Even if it did, the Government will step in and try to minimise the pain and suffering.
Even though we are a modernised country, I shall say 1 thing I am not proud of being a Singaporean.
We so do not have road courtesy.
Sure, they do not wear helmet.
Sure, they ride 6 pillions on a bike.
But hey, they have courtesy.
They give way, they horn at every single move they are going to make.
I dont know.
Maybe the traffic is just very smooth flowing when I was there.
I am not talking about the town area.
I am talking aout the village.
I am missing the cold wind and the vast ocean view and the serene scenery.

Facade

2009-01-18T22:49:00.002+08:00

Just got back from a BBQ-cum-class-gathering.
I'm tired, yet it was a fun day.
Suddenly realised that I have not seen half of them for more than 6 years.
Suddenly realised that I have known them for about 9 years.
How Time Flies.

Things are getting better now.
Or is it?
We shall see.

Need to sleep.
Long week ahead.

Fatigue

2009-01-16T12:20:00.003+08:00

It's been a long, long, long week.
Oh dear.
This week drains every ounce of energy in my body.
I hope next week will be better.

Hopefully I can deal with this.
Hopefully everything will stop and be back to where it was before.
Hopefully thngs will get better.
Hopefully.

Full of hope but I am unsure reality would be the same.
Must persevere.
I have gone through this and I have survived.
I will survive it again.

Before I signed off, i would like to wish a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my girlfriend, NURUL, who turned 22 about 12 hours ago.
Im sorry I cant be there to celebrate your birthday Babe.

Yes, we must meet.
Somehow.
Someday.
Definitely.
Preferably on Weekends, please.
I am a zombie on weekdays.

I need more energy.
I need to heal.

Dashed Hopes

2009-01-13T07:38:00.004+08:00

You know how sometimes you are so freaking pulling out your hair and just want to quit?
You just feel like letting your hair down over the weekend?

Well, that opportunity fell at my doorstep.
I was super stressed with school and work and work and work.
I just felt like breaking down when a group of friends asked to hang out.

I have been looking forward to it like ever since the very day they asked me about it.
I have been anticipating for the day to come.

Suddenly out of the blue something just had to be there to kill the excitement.
Like come on...
I NEED that break...
I am going insane with the work load.

Me being me, I wanted to call the whole thing off.
Force myself to throw my excitement out of the window.
But me being me, I couldnt.
Thus, I didnt.
Like its not always I get this chance.

I am not going to care.
I have been caring too much that I am always on the losing end.
I have been thinking of others that i stopped thinking about myself.
I always put myself as the second.
That has got to end.
I can go there alone if I have to.
Its not like I'm not use being alone and spending time alone.
I am not going to let my decisions be controlled by anyone.
I needed this break and I am going to have it.
And that's final.

A friend once asked: How do you actually going to trust your life to someone who has never ever shown the capability of being able to support you?

Sell Fish, Anyone?

2009-01-11T14:16:00.003+08:00

Life is full of parody...
Life is full of teasers...

You need to get past these two before you can actually enjoy yourself.
You need to learn how to deal with these before you can have fun.

I am apalled at how some people can be so selfish.

Like come on...
We are working in a team and as a team, we are supposed to work TOGETHER...

For one moment, Stop thinking about yourself!
Other people have a life too, you know?
We so do not have time to sit and rot at work.
We have things to do and stuff to complete and people to meet and deadlines to adhere to and test to study for.

So, if You do not mind, I would appreciate it if you would work faster...
Stop asking people to finish up where you left off and stop expecting people to clean your smelly stinky butt everytime.

I am gonna have a very super duper busy week ahead.
Weekdays all through weekends.
Come to think of it, it's gona be super tight and super pack for two whole weeks.
And its not gona get any better when my attachment starts either.
How I wish we have 30 hours instead of 24...
For now, the only way I can get more time is by sleeping less and getting up super early at the expense of my rest and recuperating period.
I guess sacrificing 'Me' time is also another option...

I so cant wait for sunday to come.
It is going to be a crazy day and i hope WE can manage the tight schedule.
Now I am wishing I can teleport to places...

On a more positive note, Marina Barrage is even more fun when I'm with You...

Hey Karma

2009-01-07T12:02:00.003+08:00

I attended the Singapore Police Force Families & Friends Concert at the Home Team Academy.

Guess who i saw?

A figment of my past.
I am happy.
Karma is working its magic.

Take that!
Serve you right for being such a narcissistic jerk.

Look at where you are now.
Look at where i am.

Look!
Who is that on the shelf?
Oh, it's just you.

Alone.

Unwanted.

You noticed i changed.
I am apalled that you still have not.
You still love to 'angkat' people.
Make them you blood siblings and what-nots.
As it seems, that is always a reason for you to get closer to girls.

Oh please.

Your tactics are already embedded in my BEWARE List.

Hey, look how happy i am.
Yeah and I do not even have to wear-the-same-colour everytime.

See ya Dude.
May you Repent.
Pity your life partner for once.
For once, try to not hurt your significant other.

Not everyone is as strong as I am.
Not everyone can stand the shit you put me through.
Think about that.

On a side note, it takes two to clap and effort to put in for friendship to stay strong.
Though you are in cloud nine, make time for your friends for once.

New Year, New Beginning

2008-12-31T20:15:00.004+08:00

Firstly, I would want to say to all my Muslim Friends
Selamat Menyambut 1430 Hijrah.

Secondly, I would like to wish everyone and anyone in my life
Happy New Year.

Farewell 2008. You will be missed.

Hello0... 2009!

What did I achieve in 2008?
Erm... I manage to...
1) Go somewhere in my career
2) Go through all the hurdles and still surviving all of it
3) Proove to myself that my brain is still working and not dead
4) Be the joke of the year or maybe the century
(for all my friends who knew the story)
5) Choose my friends wisely

My 2009 Resolution?
1) Be less doubting. More trust.
2) Let go of the past. Not easy.
3) Lose some weight. Don't ask.
4) Steal more time. Some how.
5) Be a better person. Grow up.

May 2009 be more kind to me.
2008 has been harsh.
At some point of the year.
But it did manage to make me grow and opened my eyes to realise some things.
Some things are better left ignored, some things are better left behind and some things just does not matter.

The Countdown

2008-12-28T13:37:00.003+08:00

Four more days before all hell breaks lose. 2nd Jan will be the most interesting day. First day of school, crying babies, anxious parents, nosey grans and all that. I love my job, but I am SO NOT looking forward to it. Oh wellz...

Celebrate? Nah...

2008-12-27T13:27:00.002+08:00

48years ago, today marks the first cry for the head of my family. May he be more the wiser n less the nagger n more open minded n less authoritative. Too much to ask for? Yeah. Maybe for him.
Happy birthday old man. God bless you but i wont be there to commerate the day. I rather get out of the way. Ciao!

Join me in Boxing?

2008-12-26T17:21:00.002+08:00

Haha.
Happy Boxing Day...
Have fun Boxing up those long-ago toys and what-nots.
Or you can just join me and box the wall.
Wakakaka....

Merry ChristMas...

2008-12-25T10:33:00.005+08:00

To Everyone and Anyone who Celebrates Christmas.
May Your Day be Filled with Joy and Laughter.
I wish we can get a white christmas once in a while rather than just a wet or scorching hot weather...
Oh well.
Another day for me to sleep in late and be a couch potato and slack my day killing time.
It's such humdrum when you have to spend a Public Holiday alone in the domicile with the noisy ménage.

Virgin Entry

2008-12-24T23:46:00.004+08:00

Thanks to Friendster, who ate up my 3-years of blog entry, I have decided to set up a new blog. I hope this is reliable and will not suddenly evaporate the blog when they change the system.

It is so freaking irritating when your whole three (close to four) years of rants and experiences disappear just like that.

Without any Notice!

Poof!

We are changing our system and suddenly...

Oops!

Your blog (With all the precious Pictures) is Gone!

And when you gave e-mail to ask for help, they replied with an automated answer.

Like thanks...

It might be my past I'm talking about here but it is still my experiences and from those experiences are where i grow up to be who I am today.

So Yeah...

Farewell Friendster.

My Support is no Longer Yours.

So there you go. A little summary on why I start this out of the blue.

Hopefully this is more competent.